You've just taken one hell of a beating! What happened?

Vulcan, December 2299

I’m not sure of the exact date. I‘ve lost track of time and have no means of checking, not in here anyway. This place is apparently Vulcan’s equivalent to a traditional honeymoon suite. It’s not even a proper room, just a hole in a cave… Vulcan style!

After the Koon-ut Kalifee they marched us straight here – actually Sarek was almost carried in. Then they took away everything, but let me keep my dairy; mainly because I refused to be present without some sort of record and they prize the head of the Surak clan so highly, that even the most illogical request from a ‘foolish’ human wife is granted without question.

I feel so beaten, both mentally and physically.

The bruises colour my arms, hips and chest. I actually look quite colourful, fortunately the light in here is traditional fire-burning lamps and the shade hides the worst damage. Then there are the bite marks. They don’t hurt much, nothing compared to the ache in my head and that part of me that has taken the brunt of it all.

Sarek is now asleep; he’s exhausted, even for a Vulcan. I hope his sleep is long. Not that I fear of him, NEVER! I have embraced his insanity. No, I worry he will wake soon and find me at my lowest… then see the damage and hurt before I have written it away. He would never forgive himself. He still understands so very little about the human weakness of self pity. No, seeing me now would be too much for him.

It has come for him early this time. Perhaps this was because our Federation marriage allowed us to live together before Sarek really needed me. Those months of shameless debauchery must have triggered something in him and now we are both paying the price. Even in its true circle, pon farr is such a cruel and vicious thing to inflict on any Vulcan.

I sometimes hate this culture and its consequences on those who live it, but I am bound to it and will not forsake that commitment.

Besides, I love him too much.