Wish I could be like....

Vulcan, Jan 20^th, 2230

Sarek always waits silently and patiently.

I suppose it’s a characteristic developed after spending years in diplomatic service. Events unfold and Sarek observes.

The waiting is always calculated; sometimes he waits for an opening to gain an advantage, sometimes because he knows it's best not to intervene and sometimes he lets things work themselves out.

When things do happen, I’ve never heard him say, "I told you so," but I’ve seen him let slip that fleeting look of smugness. He can’t help himself!

I just wish he’d shout, or whinge, or preach, instead of waiting.

I’ve waited here, in our garden for almost five hours and I’m still angry and I’m not entirely sure who I want to throttle; T’Pau, Sarek, or myself! This makes things worse, as a clear target would be very useful right now.

T’Pau has waited also for my failure. I’m not the perfect Vulcan consort that her golden-eyed protégée deserved. I hate myself for having tried to change, desperately wanting to be more like a proper Vulcan wife and prove her wrong.

Sarek knew it would come to this and stood by. All these months, he just watched.

But tonight I’d had enough of the old cow and said as much. When my communication with T’Pau abruptly ended, I screamed at Sarek that I just wish I could be like my old self again.

His quiet look and raised eyebrow told me he agreed. Then that look flashed across his face and I knew.

Now he’s waiting for me to understand that...like I haven’t guessed what he’s up to.

...sod him for letting me go on this long!