The Disclaimers: Star Trek in all its forms
and series belongs to Gene Roddenberry and the corporations. I am just
borrowing them for this fan fiction and mean no disrespect nor am I making a
profit on the work.
Dedication: For my dad who passed last year.
Archive: Selek, yes. Anyone else, let me know where.
IDIC- A Father's Day Card
By Lisa (AKA Fire Star)
A Father's Day Card
Sarek of Vulcan opened his desk and removed a small file. He opened it and
pulled out several envelopes. He fought back the urge to smile as he gently
looked at each one. These cards were gifts from Spock for the human holiday of
Father's day. He had not ever really appreciated them early on as he had hoped
to have Spock be as Vulcan as he could be. Now however each card was precious a
reminder of the son he had almost lost to Genesis. A son who had in his death
proven he was indeed a Vulcan. It was proof Sarek really wished he had never
gotten. He swallowed hard. In this case the emotions he felt were acceptable
because the cause was more than sufficient. Emotion threatened to overwhelm him
but he pushed it back. He pulled out the first card as he did every year
in private. It was crude and hand made by Spock when he was perhaps three years
old. It was colorful and had small handprints on it.
Next to the child's hand print was his own.
Even now after all these years he was still astounded at how clever his son had
been in his obtaining his own handprint for this card. His son had come to him
one evening and asked for a handprint for a scientific project. Now at three
Spock was still very much a baby and his request would have been astounding if
Sarek had not already seen his son comparing the sizes of other objects. Sarek
had merely decided to indulge Spock because he never wanted to dim his desire
to learn. So Sarek of Vulcan had knelt down with his son and put them in the
child's paint and unto the paper. He had watched as Spock solemnly did the
same. Sarek had further watched as Spock seemed to study the contrast in size of
his father's hands to his own. Spock's words rang in his memory:
"Father, will I ever be as big as you?"
Sarek had taken that question as a scientific one. He had responded to it as
such. "I believe that it is possible Spock. Genetically you should reach
my height and size."
Now however Sarek knew that was not really what his son had been asking.
Hindsight as his human mate would say is 20/20. No Spock had wanted to know if
he would ever be as widely known and as powerful as his father. Sarek
sighed and knew that he had failed Spock that day by seeing only logic and not
the love the boy gave him. He set that card a aside
and moved on. Self-reflection was not something he was good at but it was
important he did not fail Spock so he moved on.
He picked up the next card that had a deep meaning for him. It was the card
Spock made right after his trial's in the forge. This
one was made by a boy forged in fire. The card had small stones that came from
various locations where he had been on his long trek. He recognized each
distinctive stone and smiled. It was a tangible connection between father and
son and somehow it reached back over the centuries and connected Spock to not
only Sarek but each of his Vulcan Fore- Fathers. This card had at the
time annoyed Sarek because it reminded him that Spock was still half-human.
Shame filled him because Sarek had never wanted to see his son as human. Which
was highly illogical given he had chosen to bond then marry a very human wife.
Again hindsight was 20/20 and he knew he had not really been the best of
fathers at this time. He had however at least complimented his son on the
ascetics' of the card. He shook his head he had been a fool.
The next card came from just after his son had left for
He rose and went to pick up a cup of tea from the replicator. He sipped the hot
beverage a moment allowing it to calm his raging emotions. He set the cup aside
and went back to the desk to resume his self-reflection.
He picked up the next card the one Spock had sent after Genesis. Now this
card he had appreciated. He had valued it if only because it showed his son was
alive. He shuttered. The Spock who had come back from the dead was .Sarek
shuttered. He had always wanted a totally logical son. One who was pure Vulcan. The son who had returned to him from the dead was
just that. A Vulcan purged of emotion and totally logical.
The thing he had always claimed he wanted in a son. It had been…disquieting to
see Spock like that. That Vulcan had not been his son. No he had been a shell.
Sarek recalled a human saying. "Be careful what you wish for you might
just get it." At the time he had never understood that saying now he did.
He swallowed the pain of that time forcing it away. The card he held was
once again handmade. He knew Spock had made it . He
had held Amanda the night after he had done so. His wife had wept for their
lost son. He had to when he saw the card. Though his tears
had been for his ever having wished that Spock be as he now was. However
the card had given him hope. Hope because his son lived and hope because he was
at least trying to regain the parts of himself he lost.
Sarek looked at the newest card. It was not his typical father's day card but
rather it said, "Grandpa Sarek."
Sarek turned on his com and called his son.
Spock heard the com go off and slipped away from his sleeping wife. He smiled
as he watched Saavik sleep. He slipped out past his son’s room and into his
study to check the com line. He was rather shocked to see Sarek on the other
end.
"Father what has happened?"
Sarek was shocked at his son's disheveled appearance
until he remembered he had called in the middle of the night on Earth. He
flushed. Rarely had he ever made such a mistake. "There is nothing wrong.
I merely wished to call and thank you for your father's day cards."
Now it was Spock's turn to b e surprised. His brow rose.
"My apologies for the time. I was working in my
office and lost track of it. Or at least what time it would
be on Earth."
Spock nodded but did not really believe his father of all people lost track of
time. Or at least he did not until Sarek began to speak again.
"Spock, self reflection has rarely been something I indulge myself
with." Sarek paused. "I made
decisions and generally I can live with the choices I have made."
Spock nodded he understood what his father was saying. That
you could not change the past but simply deal with its implications to the
present.
"Spock I realized today that I have not been a good father to you."
Spock froze in shock.
"I tried to make you into a perfect Vulcan when I myself fell so far short
of the idea."
Spock's brow rose. He remained silent however not wishing to interrupt clearly
curious to what Sarek would say.
"I did not honor the being that you are, my son.
I failed to understand you. A simple apology will never be sufficient. However
it is all I can offer."
Spock was silent for a moment.
"I have learned that being a father is more then I was. I failed to accept
all of you. Which is ironic given how I cherish you mother." Sarek looked
away. "You my son are a far better father then I. I ask that you disregard
the way I raised you and to be more compassionate to my grandson. If I have
taught you anything about being a father then it is what not to do."
Spock could hear the loathing in his father's voice and he said softly.
"Father you did the best you could. Our situation was...different and
difficult. I know now that the choices you made while not always easy helped
make me the person I am today. I know you only ever wanted my safety and
perhaps my happiness. I also know now that you feared for me. I did not
understand that back when I began my career. I now know the fear you felt for I
feel it with my mate and son. You like all fathers did the best you could.
"
Sarek nodded forcing away his emotions.
"My son thought you might like the
card. I hope you do not mind having my hand print on it as well as his."
Sarek's lips curled up a little. "The card was perfect my son." Sarek pulled himself up and said. "Your
mother is waking. I must go to her."
"Send her my love," Spock said.
"I feel Saavik as well."
Sarek nodded and said. "Live long and prosper, my son."
"Peace and long life, Father."
The com line went dead. Spock stared at it for a moment before turning to
return to his bed.
Spock smiled and for the first time knew his father valued his cards and his
love. Sarek might never say the words but Spock of Vulcan knew. His father
loved him. It was enough.
Fini