Precious Treasure, Danger Ahead

 

by Starfleetdream

 

Rating: PG-13

 

Characters: Amanda/Sarek

 

Disclaimer: Don't own; only profit in my mind

 

Summary:  A companion piece and a prequel to "Breathe Again," inspired by Aconitum Napellus' 100 Themes story challenge posted over on DeviantArt.   This is 100 Themes Story Challenge #36 & #56.

 

I step from my aircar, my shadow tall and alone at the ancestral shrine. Any other visitors to this place would have walked from a more respectful distance, but I care little for that now. My blood pounds with fever and I feel the flames of the madness licking at the door to my mind. I sniff the acrid air and my pulse accelerates with the ancient imperatives triggered by my senses. I must leave this place, and soon, but I have a precious errand to complete first.

 

The time ahead is fraught with danger for her, for soon we will both return here. In anticipation I have brought items that a Vulcan would neither need nor want, but with which she may find some small comfort at a trying time. The ritual attendants will wonder at the illogic of my instructions and of these items I have left, but I have no concern for them. It is necessary that I do these things, even as I know they are far from adequate in light of what she faces. What she faces from me.

 

Logically, knowing the potential peril that I am to her, I should have forsaken bonding with her. The violence of my heritage, the differences in our bodies, the insanity of this Time, all make the risk too great, even in the face of love. I should have kept her safe from all of this, but instead my selfishness, my arrogance, and yes, my emotion for her, couched as logic and blinded by desire, have brought us to this impossible situation.

 

Logically, knowing the potential peril that I am to her, I should forsake my own life now to preserve hers. She is Human and should not be asked to risk her life to preserve mine. But it is the cruel irony of the bond of my people, and of the love she proclaims, that such a safe-keeping action as I contemplate could harm her even more than what lies ahead. I shudder at the illogic I have brought upon us both even as my body shudders now with need.

 

I should be able to promise her a life unblemished by the risk of injury at my hand, however unintentional. But it is too late for that. All I can do is leave for her these small tokens of my regard, and leave it to the illogic of hope, my desperately fading control and an ephemeral emotion that, even in madness, I will bring her though the Fires unscathed.

 

Taluhk nashvesh k'dular, Amanda. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I cherish thee, Amanda. Forgive me.

 

THE END