Title:  Sleep is Overrated
Author:  mzsnaz
Rated:  PG13

A/N: A story sparked by a few discussions and stories already here.  It's just a little something silly in time for Valentine's Day...  :D


"God, he looks great tonight," the robust woman exclaimed, her keen eyes raking over the tall diplomatic aide near the banquet table like a hawk scoping out its prey.  The other women in her group, dressed in exquisite fashions, made a few affirmative sounds over the piped in instrumental music.

"Do you think he'd be good in bed?" another wondered aloud.  They tittered at the risqué comment, pretending to be outraged. 

"Jinia, do you ever think about anything else?"

"Why bother," she lightly argued, turning her attention to another member of the group.  "I hope we're not bothering you with such talk, Amanda."

The petite woman tilted her head and nearly sighed.  Here we go again, she thought.  "Why would it bother me?" she asked, her eyes widening, exuding virtuousness.

"Oh, I just figured that you wouldn't want to talk about such vulgar things," Jinia flippantly explained.

Amanda slightly frowned.  "I don't understand why saying someone is good looking is suddenly a vulgar topic."  `Pretending you are ignorant of their intended meaning is illogical,' some small part of her mind stated.  `That's too Vulcan - it's best to play stupid,' she argued back.

"No, no," Jinia said dismissively, giving the other women a knowing look, "I mean when we talk about matters of a sexual manner.  I mean…"

"Oh, it doesn't bother me," Amanda quietly interrupted, acting confused by the amusement that seemed to infuse those around her.  "Why would it?"

"I just – it's nothing," Jinia said, attempting to shrug it off. 

Another woman in the group, older and more cynical after years in the corps, jumped into the conversation. "I agree with Amanda," the woman said loudly, giving Amanda a somewhat sympathetic look.  "Hell, talk is probably the most excitement the poor girl gets."

"I wouldn't go that far, Emirial…" Amanda began, but was cut off.

"I couldn't imagine being married to a Vulcan," Jinia added, now sadly considering Amanda.  "I mean – what about sex?"

"What about it?" Amanda tersely asked.  It would be nice if someone directed the question at her, not that she'd offer any enlightenment.

"They're so cold when you speak to one," a fair-skinned blonde said, flipping back a strand of flaxen hair.  "They must reproduce in test tubes."

Giggles filled the air.  "Can you imagine?" Jinia added, taking a large draw on her nearly empty glass of wine.

"Sex has got to be boring and infrequent," Emirial insisted, the voice of authority.  She was trying to get a rise out of the one member of their group who could offer something more than speculation; however, Amanda only mysteriously smiled.

"Absolutely," Jinia said a bit too stridently, waving over a nearby waitress.  "I'll guarantee they've never heard of orgasms." This comment got a number of affirmative nods. 

Amanda continued to frown as the group placed orders for more drinks.  She graciously declined and hoped the topic of conversation would change.  She knew better, though.

"I always have one with Croso," the blonde offered once the orders were placed, a toothy smile on her perfectly made up face.  "Every single time."

"Every time?" Jinia repeated, gasping.  "I usually do, but sometimes it just doesn't happen."  The woman suddenly cut her eyes to Amanda.  "You do know what an orgasm is, right?"

"I've – heard of them," she said calmly.  Her comment caused some consternation within the group.

"Heard of them?" Emirial said sympathetically.  "Wow."

"Oh, that's so sad," the blonde said, her bottom lip protruding. 

"How do you stand it?" Jinia asked Amanda. 

The petite woman shrugged just as a shadow appeared behind her.

"My wife, attend."

Amanda smiled in relief, quickly nodding her goodbyes to those in the group.  As the couple left together, the women continued to discuss the pitiful life of a human stuck with a cold, unfeeling Vulcan.

Sarek could tell something was troubling his wife.  Once they were alone in the lift, he turned to her. "Is all well?" he asked.

"Yes, everything is fine," she vaguely said, a deepening frown gracing her face.  "I'm glad that you rescued me from the vultures."

"You appear perturbed."

"No, I'm not," she said, although her look was still grave.  Finally, she sighed.  "There's something that I don't understand."

"What could that be, my wife?" Sarek inquired.

"Well," Amanda said, still considering what the other women had said.  "It's just that whenever the women in the group begin their talks about sex, they mention something that has me puzzled."

"You are puzzled about a sexual matter?"

She chuckled.  "Actually, I am.  Don't look so shocked."

"Indeed?" he replied, his right eyebrow ascending.

"Well, the women have said on several different occasions that they have a satisfying sexual life, but I don't understand how they can say that."

"Why is that?"

Amanda shook her head, still mulling over what they'd said.  "It just doesn't seem possible, especially when they say they only have one orgasm.  I mean – what's the point?"

Sarek pursed his lips as his eyebrow rose further.  "One?  Is that normal for a human?"

"Apparently," she said, shaking her head.  Maybe she misunderstood the others in the group; however, the topic always turned to their one hot sexual adventure, and just one.  Always.  "They've also told me that their sexual encounters usually last less than an hour."

"One – hour?"

"Yes," she said, matching her husband's stunned tone as they stopped in front of their suite door.  "One hour.  That just doesn't seem normal."

"Indeed," Sarek stated, noting the unrelenting perplexed look on his wife's face.  "I have some news that should please you.  The scheduled talks have been deferred and will not resume until 1400 hours tomorrow."  His tone was neutral, but his words caused a radiant smile to break out on her face.

"Really?" she asked, not quite believing it.

"I would not lie to you," he said dryly.  "If you will make the appropriate arrangements, I shall return to the banquet to confirm that our associates are aware of the change in plans."

He raised his hand to her, index and middle fingers extended.  She happily reciprocated and watched him stride down the hallway to the lifts.

Entering the suite, she nearly laughed aloud.  It was only 2200 hours, and Sarek didn't have to be back until 1400 hours the following day!  It was a rare break in the middle of a mundane diplomatic meeting, and Amanda planned to take full advantage of it.  Judging from Sarek's remarks, she thought gleefully, he apparently had the same idea.

-----           


"Mastronini, did you take this order?"

The dark-haired man in the white clothes of his trade grimaced.  "Yes, I did, and I double checked it, Vera.  You have to believe me."

"Oh, really?" she mumbled.  The Castello in Aria Hotel and Convention Center was renowned in several planetary systems as the best – best in service, rooms, amenities.

"Honestly, Vera," the man said stridently, "you know how these diplomats are – they come up with some of the strangest requests imaginable."

The woman screwed her features into a disbelieving mask.  "Strange, yes, but you must have the times wrong.  I mean – look at this!"

"I verified it," Mastronini insisted.

Vera said nothing; instead, she stormed over to a monitor that was in a quieter section of the kitchen.  With practiced ease, she punched in the code and relaxed her features into a pleasant, accommodating look.  She smiled when the blue-eyed woman's face appeared, instantly knowing that the intrusion was not welcome.

"Good evening," Vera said, charm dripping with each word.  "I'm so sorry to disturb you, but I didn't want to disturb you later with an unwanted order."

"When I placed the orders, I thought that I made myself perfectly clear," the woman said, obviously not pleased.  Vera could hear the sound of water running in the background – she must have interrupted the woman as she prepared to take a bath.

"Yes, Ma'am, but I fear that the waiter got the wrong times," Vera explained, her smile threatening to break. 

The woman on the other end of the monitor loudly sighed. "Fine, then," the woman grumbled, using her right hand as a counter.  "First, I requested a basket of assorted breads and fruits to be sent up immediately, along with a carafe of your best house wine.  We haven't received that yet, by the way.  Then, at 0200 hours, send up another basket similar to the first, but instead of wine, we'll need kasa juice and spring water.  At 0700 hours, another basket with assorted fruit juices for breakfast.  We'll probably also need something for dinner at around 1300 hours, but I'll call back in the morning with that order."

"I – see," Vera slowly allowed.

"Is there a problem?" the woman asked, now folding her arms across her chest.

"Not at all, Ma'am!" Vera smoothly said, her smile about to crack.  "No problem at all.  I was just a bit confused about the 0200 hour request.  Breakfast and dinner I understand – even the basket that should be at your door any second.  I just."

"Just deliver it, please," the woman curtly said, glancing off screen as a chime sounded through her room.  "It sounds like room service is here."

"Ma'am?"

Amanda gave the woman on the screen an exasperated look.  "Yes?"

"I'm curious," Vera said, giving the other woman an expectant look.  "What, exactly, would you call a food basket at 0200 hours?"

An impish look flashed across the monitor screen.  "Um – well – to be honest." 

"Yes?"

Amanda sheepishly shrugged.  "Well, I think I'd describe it as necessary reinforcement."

Vera blinked.  "Reinforcement?  I don't think I understand."

Again, the other woman shrugged.  "I know," she said, her tone sympathetic.  "Let's just say that it's to quell hunger pangs.  We just get so ravenous after a few hours."

"A few hours?" Vera asked, acutely uncomfortable as her imagination ran away with her.

Amanda shook her head sympathetically.  "Oh, that's so sad," she said even as a smile began to creep along her lips and her eyes sparkled.  "Really, it is."  The screen suddenly went dark.

Vera stared at the blank screen for several minutes.  Finally, Mastronini came over to where she sat before the monitor.

"Did you verify the times?" he snappishly asked. 

Vera slowly nodded. "Yes," she said, considering the screen before her.  "And you're absolutely right.  I should have known better."

"What do you mean?" the man asked.

"I should know better than to ask questions," she said, her eyes unconsciously looking up at the ceiling, disbelief circling her thoughts.  "After all, the customer is always right, and sometimes it's best not to know the nocturnal habits of those we serve."

Mastronini tried, but couldn't recall ever seeing Vera's complexion turn so completely crimson.



THE END