I know that people have been talking about "angsty" stories, so here is just that. Very difficult for me to write—and post! It's been sitting here for a while, being avoided.

At any rate, it's the prequel short to my "End of All Things", which is my idea of just that. For those that don't know me, I do NOT consider TNG or any of the novels as canon...



THE DUST OF ROSES

Mary Stacy



The doors to the balcony lay opened, a warm desert wind blowing gently, stirring the curtains in the dimming light like the first waltz of ghosts in the night.

The fragile figure stirred a little, awakening once again. Each time she did so, she seemed a little weaker to him. More and more the vital and once seemingly endless energy he had so taken for granted as having been blessed with these many years was slipping away, at first small bit by bit, but now in larger and larger pieces.

"It's so peaceful here now." She turned her head to look out through the doors to the mountains beyond framing the setting sun. "I've always loved this time of day, when the heat releases its hold and before the cold of the night sets in."

"Indeed, we have always found this a most enjoyable time, have we not?" His right hand held hers tightly, while his left brushed and errant hair from her cheek, replacing it back amid the gray hairs that fanned across the pillows, the last rays of the sunset making them glimmer like slender silver threads. He let his hand caress the contours of her face, the light meld he maintained no more of a conscious act than breathing.

Her eyes had dulled over the last few weeks, and now looking into his, they once again seemed filled with tears that never fell but only lingered and he fought hard so as to not let his mirror those which held his heart for so long. It would be time very soon—no matter how much he fought, no matter how much he wanted to hold onto her. Time was now too short.

"You've given me so much, Sarek, shown me so many things, taken me so many wondrous places," she seemed to labor over each word, " I have seen so many incredible things, known so many amazing people. But in the end all that ever really mattered is here and you."

He started to speak but was stopped by her trembling hand brushing against his lips. "I could never have believed all this would be mine that night on the porch when I met someone who could catch fireflies so well."

"And you were the true firefly I was made to catch."

She laughed gently. "That was so long ago and far away…"

"125.45…"

She swatted him playfully with what little strength was left. "Don't remind me."

A deep sigh arose from within her, " I am sorry not to have seen Spock again. Make sure to tell him that no matter how he feels about it, he would never have been able to evade a mother's love."

It was a sore point within him that their only son had not seen it clear to visit one last time. Duty to family was always first and foremost, for it was the keystone with which all other duties were built. Sarek had tried very hard to right the wounds of the past over the years, but some wounds it seemed would never heal fully.

The sun had now sunk below the crest of the mountains, and the breeze began to chill. He made a motion to get up and close the doors, but she stopped him, holding his hand tightly.

"Leave it be. All the warmth I have ever needed has been here with you."

His eyes softened once again. How could he bear this, how could he allow himself to let her go? She was his life…

Her eyes fluttered closed for a minute or two and when she reopened them, they seemed to have been cleared of the years.

"Never could anyone have loved as much as I loved you, Sarek of Vulcan, and that love will always be with you, no matter what." She placed her hand on his heart. "I'll always be here for you, only a flutter of a heartbeat away."

He bent down to kiss her, and she settled back into the pillows, a smile tracing the corners of both of their mouths, before she closed her eyes again.

Then he bent close and whispered softly into her ear, saying the three words that he had always felt were so inadequate to describe his feelings for her, but ones he felt he needed to set free before the time would come when he would regret never having released them.

"I know, dear." Her voice was barely a whisper itself. "I have always known…"


And when the sun rose again, he was alone as he had never before been in life. He did not know if he would survive, but he knew he had been loved and loved as no other ever had.

The scent of roses hung in the air for one brief moment, before even that was lost to him forever...