The Sex Thing
Author: Elizabeth Leicester
Code: Sarek, Amanda
Series: TOS
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer:
Summary: Amanda writes about the sexual aspects of her
marriage.
Vulcans don't talk about
this. I've gotten used to that, I
suppose. But there are times when I need to talk about it. My Terran friends would be practically
drooling at the prospect of the Vulcan ambassador's wife, ready and willing to
talk about her sex life. And then it
would be all over the news feeds the next day, if not the next hour. So I'm stuck with writing about it in here.
There are many challenges
inherent in being married to a Vulcan, although I'm sure Sarek could say the
same about me. Some are obvious. One is the sex thing. Every time we go somewhere, I can just see
people thinking, 'How do they do it?
What's it like?' To answer the
first question—like everybody else, basically.
It takes a bit more time to answer to the second question.
The difference was obvious
almost from the beginning. I was always
'ready to go.' Sarek—well, Sarek was
willing to please me—but not every night.
And I came to realise that he could go for
months—years—seven to be precise, although I've never actually tested this
theory—without sex. It was somewhat
disconcerting.
In a marriage, there are
some things you have to simply accept because they are not going to
change. Libido is one of these. I can't change my nature anymore than Sarek
can change his. And in a situation such
as this you give up and live with it, give up and get divorced or find a way to
compromise. So we compromised. I wouldn't come on to him every second of the
day and he committed to making love once a week. Needless to say, spontaneity went completely
out the airlock. I know exactly when,
where and how it's going to happen, right down to the minute. And if we miss our 'appointment,' I may have
to wait for another week.
I'm making Sarek look bad
by saying this. But he's not unfeeling
or insensitive and while he won't say it, I know he loves me. It's just that the physical act of
consummating that love is not a part of his rational nature. The fact that he will partake in it for my
sake speaks silent volumes of his love and commitment to me and to our
marriage.
But that doesn't fully
describe what it's like. It varies. It can be earth shattering and passionate or
it can be routine and mundane. I do try
to 'spice it up' now and then. Yes, that
rumour is true.
What most people don't know however is that the real thing, what Terrans
call 'Vulcan cinnamon', is ten times as powerful. The spice acts like alcohol on the Vulcan
nervous system, lowering inhibitions and heightening the senses. In some ways it simulates the Time, although
this is much more fun. We can take our
time and really enjoy it and since Sarek feels in control, it's far more
pleasant.
There's so much guilt and
shame over the Time that it's been practically buried in ritual and myth. It's a loss of control and that is the
ultimate loss to a Vulcan. It doesn't
matter that it's temporary. It doesn't
matter that it's an evolutionary adaptation to severe conditions. It doesn't matter that I formally 'forgive'
him. It doesn't matter that I love
him.
The weeks after the Time
are probably harder than the ones leading up to it or the ones during it. He is so completely submissive afterwards
that we learned early on not to schedule any major negotiations for six weeks
after It ends.
Once the Fires have
cooled, he will do anything for me, and I do mean anything. In the early years, I took full advantage of
this, even though Vulcan males go through a period of impotence once the Fires
have abated. Of course, this was
something we had to discover, much to the healers' chagrin. It wasn't common knowledge before.
But I was saying that I
took advantage of his recovery period. I
did. I don't anymore. Eventually I came to realise
that it wasn't fair. What he needs most
during that time is my love and reassurance.
So I put my needs on hold, or take care of them myself, and in loving
him I find redemption for us both.